In Search of Absolute Truth


Being raised as an atheist, I had too many questions that atheism simply could not answer.

One of the examples: Why am I me? Why do I feel myself as I? Who am I? I was not asking about the personal details such as name, gender, nationality, talents and character traits, family relationships etc. I was asking about the ability to feel the universe as myself. Who is that I? Why was I created altogether? Why was the universe created?  Science could not answer these questions. As the world-renowned physicist Brian Greene states in his article in Scientific American: “Science is very good at answering the ‘how’ questions. How did the universe evolve to the form that we see? But it is woefully inadequate in addressing the ‘why’ questions. Why is there a universe at all?” Also, since I love science I knew that our world is a very harmonious and orderly place. For those who are not familiar with science, it will be easier for me to bring a quote from a scientific authority such as Albert Einstein on the matter: “Your question [about God] is the most difficult in the world. It is not a question I can answer simply with yes or no. I am not an Atheist. I do not know if I can define myself as a Pantheist. The problem involved is too vast for our limited minds. May I not reply with a parable? The human mind, no matter how highly trained, cannot grasp the universe. We are in the position of a little child, entering a huge library whose walls are covered to the ceiling with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written those books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books, a mysterious order, which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of the human mind, even the greatest and most cultured, toward God. We see a universe marvelously arranged, obeying certain laws, but we understand the laws only dimly. Our limited minds cannot grasp the mysterious force that sways the constellations.”( From an interview published in 1930 in G. S. Viereck‘s book Glimpses of the Great)

The only creature who is capable of bringing havoc into this harmony is a human. This quality is not his physical characteristics but his perception of the world and actions that follow this perception. The great Jewish sage Maimonides stated that humans are the only representatives of all living things that are themselves learning good and evil, and are choosing what to do from that study without obstacles.

Having all of these in mind, I was looking for the answers everywhere. If everything is so harmonious in the physical sense in the universe, it seemed logical to me that if I had a question there should be an answer. However, understanding how unimportant, though very complex we are compared to the universe, I had enough humility to realize that we could not possibly possess the knowledge of it. We don’t even know how to use our brain 100% (This one actually casts many doubts on the theory of evolution since the capacity of the human brain significantly surpasses the need of survival. But this should be in a different post).

The only possible answer that was given from without is religion. Yet there are so many of them! Which one to choose? Being raised in a completely assimilated environment, I first turned to astrology and to a church as a leading spiritual influence on the culture in the country I lived in then. Astrology satisfied me to a certain degree. Although being very structural, it still did not answer the WHY questions. Christianity appeared to me as a beautiful fairy tale that had little to do with the complexity of human nature and expected the not so perfect people to behave as angels. Plus both Islam and Christianity are trying to claim the truth that was already stated before. And surely a secondary source loses to a primary one – Judaism. Jews, on the other hand, still survive and flourish spiritually nowadays despite all the persecutions, whereas the mighty empires who tried to destroy them vanished. So the choice was made and now I practice Orthodox Judaism.

So what about the question of evil that exists in the universe? Why is it needed? I already hinted at it above. Humans are given the important role to be partners in creation and that’s why we have freedom of choice. All of these choices have meaning only from the human perspective as I already stated. However you can’t change people around.  You can only decide for yourself and maybe influence others, but you can’t make decisions for them.  For example, there were people who in incredible circumstances of social pressure in Germany during the Holocaust went against the rulers and made their choice by saving the Jews, risking their own lives.  They were in the minority, but this shows exactly that we do have freedom of choice.  There are many more examples but I will limit myself with one here due to the extensive length of the post.

As for why G-d needs evil in the universe, I can only tell you that even though I sincerely believe I was created by Him, I definitely will not claim that I can understand Him and read His mind. It says in Torah: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.” To understand such a difficult concept to a certain degree, I can refer you to the great piece of science fiction “Solaris” by Stanislav Lem.

I will also quote here from Leonard Susskind, the co-founder of string theory. He suggested getting rid of the term” reality” altogether. Because, he says:”The problem is that what people tend to mean by “reality” has more to do with biology and our neural architecture than it has to do with physics itself. We’re prisoners of our own neural architecture. We can visualize some things but can’t visualize other.” So the inability to understand G-d simply lies within our boundaries and limitations while for Him there are no such things. He gave us laws to follow so we will be able to choose the right path. However, we do believe that the ultimate time of pure harmony and absolute good will manifest itself here soon with the coming of Messiah, the king of the final redemption. It states in Mishna: “One hour of repentance and good deeds in this world is better than the entire life of the World to Come. And one hour of bliss in the World to Come is better than the entire life of this world.” That basically means that yes, we all waiting with anticipation for these moments of the Messianic time since it is very painful to see bad things happening in the world. However, we also will miss this time because now we are partners in creation through choosing good or evil. Then there will be no choice anymore, since the choice can’t be made when everything is pure and only good .

Now this is Judaism and my own perspective on the matter. I am not trying to persuade anyone to follow me. I am simply answering a request from an acquaintance of mine to explain myself on this topic. I am open to questions on this subject.

P.S. And yes, people from  religious community are still people therefore have freedom of choice as well.  It implies that they also can make mistakes. The difference between them and people from secular world is that they have easier access to the laws that help to make a right choice.  However  what kind of choices people make  is solely up to them.

To follow your dreams


I have to admit. I have a weak point – I like intellectual people. And sometimes I  have  cognitive dissonance when I hear something that goes against my understanding of intelligent and profound person. Because  sometimes I forget that intellect is not an equivalent  of  insight or depth of the mind. A person may have strong analytical abilities but keep them on the surface without digging the problem further down.
The results are astonishing!  You can have a very successful writer, blogger and engineer all in one who would manage to state that nowadays wisdom depends on computer skills!!!  Or writer, political analyst and religious scholar who would try to assure you that your instincts and minute desires are what making your real Self.
Though I think you don’t have to be a scholar to recognize that this is wrong. The intellect is definitely ruling over emotions but you have to understand that the intellect has power over minute urges and instincts only when the will is in work. And what makes the will to pop up in the picture to rescue the weak soul? The inner part of the will – the inner desire. This is how you check if your aspirations of the moment are true or not and you can work them out by either controlling or pursuing them. For example the difference between strong urge to eat cake right now having afterwards tons of guilt feelings, pessimistic attitude towards self image in the mirror, problems with  health on one hand and real desire to be healthy, fit, energetic and as a result of it be happy and content on the other.

I think the ability to internalize and evaluate the situation shows the level of maturity. It is kid’s prerogative not to differentiate between temporary good and ultimate good. One of the most famous examples of this type of substitution is escaping to drinking: I am in distress now because I did not get the job I wanted ( argued with spouse, did not get certain amount of likes on Facebook, have to deliver the speech tomorrow or have a due date for the project too close etc) so instead of working it out I’ll go and drink and forget about everything for the hour or two or may be for the whole night. Sure sometimes you need it but when it turns into a habit of how you dealing with situations in general  because when you drink you feel good and don’t have to fight with difficulties and challenges then it is wrong. You are just trying to escape from reality. For an hour or two or for the whole night  and it might turn into the life program.
By doing just opposite and sticking to your true desires you don’t  break your inner self. You try to change yourself by transforming and learning to be who you want to be ultimately. By doing that instead of following the animal instincts you can strive to bigger heights and have more self confidence and dignity. With maturity comes the understanding that even something seems to be annoying and difficult there is a deeper good. And the things we desire are not always good for us.
Then you would feel yourself that you are a human being who follows his/ her dreams and ambitions  so that they will not remain merely illusions. You will be able to stay on the difficult path of accomplishing your real purpose in life  instead of feeling as a looser just because you choose not to control your natural instincts and blew off the whole vision of your life for a minute desire.
It is not easy but well worth it. It is that  simple.

To follow your dreams.